Comments on: VRP#2 http://emsesquerra.learnerblogs.org/2007/10/19/vrp2/ Tue, 02 Dec 2008 07:04:06 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=wordpress-mu-1.2.5 By: Ruthie http://emsesquerra.learnerblogs.org/2007/10/19/vrp2/#comment-4 Ruthie Mon, 22 Oct 2007 20:35:46 +0000 http://emsesquerra.learnerblogs.org/2007/10/19/vrp2/#comment-4 Praise: I really liked your word choise. I like how you ended your poem and the last couple of lines are really good. Question: The very beginning of the poem it say "the clouds poorly lit the sky." then it say "the clouds enclose the gates of heaven." Do you mean that i was light outside and then the clouds are making the sky duller or less bright?? Polish: Just re-read it again to make sure that it makes sense and it flows. GOOD JOB!! it's a really good poem! also i love the picture! :] Praise:
I really liked your word choise. I like how you ended your poem and the last couple of lines are really good.

Question:
The very beginning of the poem it say “the clouds poorly lit the sky.” then it say “the clouds enclose the gates of heaven.” Do you mean that i was light outside and then the clouds are making the sky duller or less bright??

Polish:
Just re-read it again to make sure that it makes sense and it flows.

GOOD JOB!! it’s a really good poem! also i love the picture! :]

]]> By: emstourtelot http://emsesquerra.learnerblogs.org/2007/10/19/vrp2/#comment-3 emstourtelot Mon, 22 Oct 2007 20:31:12 +0000 http://emsesquerra.learnerblogs.org/2007/10/19/vrp2/#comment-3 I really liked how it's deep, and it has more than just what you read. You have to think about it. How are the trees in the background guarded? I wouldn't mix in dawn, because you only mentioned it twice and it kind of confused me. I really liked how it’s deep, and it has more than just what you read. You have to think about it.
How are the trees in the background guarded? I wouldn’t mix in dawn, because you only mentioned it twice and it kind of confused me.

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